Pop Tarts from Hell

Anyone else here have trouble with the stupidest things? I mean things that nobody else would have a problem with, such as…

Pop Tarts.

Raspberry Pop Tarts

I had my ass kicked by a raspberry Pop Tart, I am ashamed to admit (and no I don’t mean some young redhead I met on a street corner in the dead of night. Well, not this time, at any rate.)

I don’t know what it is but I can’t get a Pop Tart out of the toaster once it’s in there. I can’t even get it in the toaster right in the first place. It always slides down past the wire. And of course by the time you have it in there you are committed to toasting the little bugger.

Which compounds the problem, because when you try to get it out it is not only jammed it is frickin’ hot and a hell of a lot more pliable.

Six pieces, twenty-thousand crumbs and four burn spots later…I got it out. I am wondering, was it worth it? I mean, it’s not like they are gourmet pastries or anything. They don’t have a hell of a lot on Danish Swirls and THOSE come out of the toaster in one piece.

Oh, FYI: tongs do not belong in the toaster, no matter how pretty all those sparkly little thingies are. Those sparkly thingies bite and turn you, well, um, dead. They don’t really help much anyway, because Pop Tarts have an inbred fall-to-pieces defense against them, but take my word for it, guns don’t kill people, toasters do…