Puffin' What?

Ever wonder just what kind of drugs your mom was slipping into your Apple Jacks when you were a kid to make you actually enjoy some of the Saturday morning shows you did?

Some of you out there will probably have no idea what I am talking about, unless you were somehow subjected to repeats on some obscure cable channel or ticked off your parents enough to buy the DVD collection. But one word:

Pufnstuf.

Or is that three words? Meh.

H. R. Pufnstuf. Mr. Can’t-Do-A-Little-If-He-Can’t-Do-Enough. Whatever the hell that means.

Now, here is the acid nightmare of those lovable Saturday morning stalwarts Sid & Marty Krofft and the only thing it had going for it, from an adult perspective, was it was a step above Sigmund and the Sea Monsters (and we all KNOW you stole the kid from Family Affair for that little car wreck, don’t we, Mssrs. Kroffts!?) and The Bugaloos.

But back to Pufnpants. Er, Pufnstuf. Now just what does that mean anyway? Is that some secret code for what Sid & Marty were doing when they created the show? We they Puffin’ some stuff? Something illegal, no doubt? Or is it worse than that and we don’t want to know just what of their stuff was puffin’?

Shiver.

Now let’s put aside the fact that Mr. Stuff lords over his own island and a bunch of creepy little “stuffs”. And the fact he’s got this one adolescent boy…nope, not even going to go there.

But what’s up with that sinister little neutered flute, anyway? I mean, come on, has anyone taken a real close look at that flexible little…um, nevermind. Just take a look at Freddy the Flute’s lips and tell me there’s not something unmentionable about that “instrument”. There’s a reason the island main crag hag, Witchy Poo, wants that flute so bad. Ah-hem.

So just who or what is H. R. Pufnstuf? Some mysterious visitor from another world? A distant relative of Tinkie Winkie? Some perverted Build-a-Bear reject? Does he even OWN a pair of pants?

Alas, I fear we’ll never know. I’m having a hard enough time just figuring out why he held me spellbound as a kiddie all those many moons ago…