Things that Dangle...Part 1

Why is it human beings were made with dangling parts?

Those of you who let out a gasp at that statement, take a moment to catch your breath. Those who didn’t gasp, send me a photo resume…the female portion of the audience, that is.

Anyway, it goes both ways. Both genders. Um, I mean, who can resist playing with things that dangle? Women like things that dangle. God knows I am fixated on a couple dangling goodies. But since I can see the hole I am digging getting way too deep, I won’t expand on that angle any further.

The thing with dangling parts—and my focus this week will be on the male portion of the population--is they tend to get caught in stuff waaaay too easy. Especially in the dark. I have a feeling the Devil made toilet seat cover flaps just to keep us guys from getting too full of ourselves. FYI, if you get up to go potty in the dead of night and can’t find the light switch, pretend you’re a girl and sit. And for godssakes don’t buy a wooden seat cover. Or that bang you hear just may be the sound of a do-it-yourself gender change.

Doors are bad for dangling parts. Fruit of the Loom makes skivvies for a reason. To get even with door makers and prevent accidental dangling mishaps. Remember: guns don’t kill walnuts, slammed doors do.

And skinny dipping…well, let’s just say there are a lot of weirdo fish…
Sooo…I am going to leave this piece dangling. I’ll be getting around to my favorite dangling female parts again soon enough. Be warned. I didn’t call this dark bits for nothing…