Sex is a delicate subject. It’s not really a time you want to hear a lot of laughing, bored sighs or throwing up. And there are just some things you don’t want to ask, during or after sex. Not only can the kill the moment—and let’s face guys, sometimes a moment is all you got—but they’re sure not to get you a return invitation. A little decorum can go a long ways, so heed the advice of those who have gone before…and never gone again…
“You’re HOW old?”
“Hey, do you mind if the monkeys watch?”
“What the hell is THAT thing, anyway?”
“Should I get a rope?”
“Are those real?”
“What do you mean you need to run my credit card numbers?”
“Why are you wearing scuba gear?”
“I thought you said you were a girl!”
“Is an electric carving knife really necessary?”
“There are penalties for early withdrawal, you know…”
“What was your name again?”
“You’re kidding, right? I thought everybody liked Poodles.”
“Dammit, my husband’s home!”
“Are you dead?”
And last but not least: “Silly Rabbit, tricks are for kids…” Or am I mixing that last one up with something? Meh.
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2 comments:
"Have you finished?"
And the perennial favourite:
"Yes, Yes, Yes, Yessss, I've finally worked out how to redesign the kitchen."
I've never had to worry about these - in fact on times I've had a woman stop mid lovemaking to give me a round of applause.
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