Rejection Deception

Nobody likes rejection. Authors have an especially difficult time handling it because, even though it’s built into the game, it involves a dismissal of something that is part of our very being—our creativity. You send out a manuscript you’ve spent countless hours honing to perfection, poured your blood, sweat and tears into…only to get it back, sometimes a year later, with a form slip that says: Not for Us. Fed through out mind filter it reads: You suck.

Rejection is hard. And rejection of something you’ve put that much of yourself into is right up there with someone telling you your baby looks like the backside of horse. As authors, we sometime take the rejection as a personal slight, meaning not only is our book no good but maybe we’re no good. Our self-worth is often tied into our creation. It’s not meant that way by the publisher or editor who rejected the work Often it is merely market-driven considerations, at least for their particular company. But it’s hard not to take it personally.

It’s that way in any area of life. Whether you’re asking the girl/guy of your dreams for a first date or applying for that job you feel would be perfect for you.

Over time you can cut down on those rejections, by honing your talents, developing your skills…or buying a small firearm. You know I’m kidding on the last one, right? Er, mostly.

Rejection, however, can be useful, if not pleasant—if we resign ourselves to viewing it in a positive manner. We can let it fuel our drive to succeed, to augment our skills and learn new ones, to sharpen the talents we already have. We can gain experience and learn to cope with a world that commonly does not go our way, instead of letting it make us bitter and frustrated. There will be days, of course, when one particular rejection hurts more than another, or when someone issuing the rejection decides to get personal and take out their pettiness or bad day on you. But you know what? Those types aren’t worth worrying about anyway. Why give them that power over your self-esteem or mood?

Like most authors, I have enough rejection slips I received early on to paper a wall. But I learned from them (if nothing else, where best to hide the, er, bodies…) The one thing you can count on with rejections, however: they make the acceptances, whether it be that first sale or first date, all the sweeter and more appreciated.