Western Wednesday: The Ranger Rides Again

It’s Western Wednesday, so hide the sheep and mount up…yes, in that order…

Since there are a number of character Westerns on the horizon, Jonah Hex and The Lone Ranger most notably, along with a couple remakes of older films, I wonder—do Western fans, especially long-time fans really look forward to seeing their beloved characters re-envisioned on the screen, given today’s emphasis on blockbusters? Can we really trust Hollywood to respect and present our favorites as we’d enjoy, and not simply as fodder for a line of action figures and lunchboxes?

The Lone Ranger is a good example. Most of us fans have fond memories of either the Brace Beemer radio show or the Clayton Moore TV series. Both were perfect for their time. Can The Lone Ranger be handled for today’s market, which seems to be mostly teen focused?

Previous attempts, both on the big screen and on TV, have seen the Ranger fare not so well. Not only were they poor movies with mediocre acting, but they suffered from typical Hollywood PCism. Both were forgettable and many folks likely don’t even know they existed, which is a good thing.

The upcoming movie is reportedly going to star Johnny Depp as Tonto. He’s an accomplished actor and of Native American extraction, so I don’t doubt he can pull it off. But will we get a bunch of apologetic garbage? The Lone Ranger was/is a great character. He does not need to be screwed with. Sure, he can be made “relevant” (and God I detest that term as it applies to movies and music), and a good example of that is Dynamite’s Lone Ranger comic book. The writers of that book have taken what made the Ranger special and presented it in a fresh, compelling manner. Purists will quibble with some things, as they always do, but the essence of the creation is there and the writing is very good.

Of course, many will point out the older movies and shows were a product of their times and inaccurate in many respects. And they will be right. Some of the mores presented might strike a modern audience as silly, outdated, whatever. But what these movies and shows had was strong story-telling and compelling portrayals, not marketing gimmicks and the underlying snicker that seems to come with far too many adaptations of heroes, Western or otherwise, nowadays. They also had charm that transcended the medium and time period.

I am hoping the new Ranger movie will be that good (and not done the way I am expecting his related character, The Green Hornet with Seth Rogan, will be). I am hoping it won’t be this brooding bleak commentary on the early West. I am hoping it will bring The Lone Ranger back for a new generation of fans, as well as reviving the magic for the older ones.

“From out of the past come the thundering hoofbeats of the great horse, Silver!” Oh, yeah, time to hear them again. So, Hi Yo, Silver, and Git ‘em up, Scout! The Lone Ranger rides again…

Terror Tuesday: Psychic Healing or Psychic Caca?

It’s another Terror Tuesday—Man, you’d think the neighbors would be used to a guy with an ax peeking in their windows by now…jeez, nothin’ to freak out over, is it? Is it the hockey mask? I mean, whot?

Anyhoo, read this week: The Vampire Diaries #1 by LJ Smith. I probably should not have watched the show before reading the book, because there’s that inevitable clash of imagery and plot sequence in my head going on the entire way. Wasn’t bad, read fairly fast and nobody sparkled. The main problem I had, however, was with the book’s version of Elena, who is somewhat unlikable and reminded me of far too many of the snooty little t**ts I went to high school with. And while you recover from the fact I almost said the word t**t—whoops, there I go again—I would also say I prefer the show over the book, though even there I am a bit lukewarm (it has improved on the initial episode.) And again with the animal killing…ugh, I am totally tired of horror writers thinking that cliché is a good plot device. However, it is a fun read otherwise and I would recommend it. The author does a nice job with some of the tense scenes.

Screened: The Fourth Kind…oh, boy…I really should know better. But I keep falling for it anyway. Movie about a psychologist studying alien abductions who becomes a victim or “something”, either of alien visitations or her own psychosis. Typical visitation sequences interspersed with documentary type footage from the supposedly “true” incidents that occurred in Nome, Alaska. This movie is one long borefest. At least what I didn’t sleep through was. Can’t recommend it for anything.

I’ve never given much credence to psychic healing. I had a relative who was a practitioner, sat in on a few of the sessions and even submitted to it for a back injury. It didn’t work, though the excuse was, “Well, it won’t if you don’t believe it will work.” My answer to that is a question: Why not, if it is a genuine physical manifestation of psychic power from a separate source, in this case the healer? Why should the patient need belief or any thought in or of the “phenomenon” if it exists as its own entity?

Truth is, in my opinion, one does not need belief because it either does not exist or the majority of healers claiming to have the power are deluded, liars or charlatans preying on the desperation of those suffering. If there are genuine healers who have, indeed, cured folks of dread diseases, they have not be verified as of yet, and perhaps do not want to be (given the deluge of ill folks who’d descend upon them). And if belief is necessary for the healing…then, sorry, no power comes from the healer; it comes from the within the individual, who somehow taps into the mind or body’s natural healing ability.

Classic psychic healing involves a wide rage of techniques: prayer, invoking the help of God, deities, spirits, even deceased relatives; the administration of blessed medicines, projection of will and laying of hands. The particular seasons I witnessed/participated in involved sitting in a chair, while the healer placed a hand on the back of my neck. I was supposed to feel rushes of heat (often the healer will tell their victims, er, I mean, patients what they will feel so the person thus expecting actually experiences the sensation. Power of suggestion, anyone?) I felt sweaty palms…and an evil degree of frustration from the healer.

Psychic healing has a fairly long and complex history I could write multiple articles about, but for me it comes down to one thing: while I think anything that increases a person’s belief in healing, thus mobilizing the body’s own defenses against disease—as long as it is not at the expense of necessary medicine or conventional treatment, however dicey that might be—is a good thing, I have zero tolerance for those who take advantage of the desperation of the ill, especially children. Perhaps there are some genuine practitioners…if so, I’d like to meet one because the rest give me a pain right in the bumper…

The Chloe Files: Kicking Evil’s ass one demon at a time…
In the tradition of Sookie Stackhouse and Buffy, The Vampire Slayer…
In paperback from http://www.bn.com/

Western Wednesday: Soiled Doves

Saddle your mount and let your spurs jingle jangle, it’s time again for Western Wednesday.

First, huge congratulations go out to fellow Western author and Black Horse stable mate Mathew Mayo for finaling in the prestigious Western Writers of America Spur Awards. His short story from A Fistful of Legends, “Half a Pig”, came in top three. A Fistful of Legends is Express Westerns newest short story anthology that includes some of the finest writers in the genre today, with 22 new tales of the Old West. My own story, “Billy,” written to bring attention to Down Syndrome, appears in the anthology, which you can order from Amazon or Barnes & Noble. Way to go, Matt!

So, the bardove with a heart of gold. She’s a staple of the mythical Western, which is primarily the type I write. I have included various incarnations of her throughout my 30 some-odd books for the Black Horse Western line, as well as my vampire-western, The Dark Riders, and my ripper-western, Pistolero. I have also included her antithesis, the bargirl with a heart of pure belladonna.

How close is that version of the prostitute in the Old West? Well, probably not very. The life of a “woman of the line” in the frontier was a tough go. Most of those women were hard, laudanum- or some other drug-addicted, swore like sailors and would cut your throat without much of a care if you tried to fleece them. They also suffered incredibly at the hands of outlaws, men who beat and abused them, so they had good reason for being hard. The frontier was often a brutal place, despite the somewhat rose-colored view presented in some fiction. Morals were malleable and one did what one needed to do to survive.

Yet survival was not high on the list of likelihoods for the Wild West soiled dove. Most were used up by their early twenties. Many died of disease, alcoholism or drug addiction. Many died under the rough treatment of their Johns. A few got famous, like Big Nose Kate. Some like Calamity Jane, who was not averse to trading her “charms” for whatever she needed, grew to legendary stature.

But of course the hooker with a heart of gold occurs in a number of genres, not only the Western. We, as readers and writers, like to believe everybody is redeemable. And that makes good fiction, if not accurate history.

Terror Tuesday: Are You Afraid of Ghosts?

It’s Terror Tuesday time again…damn, those neighborhood kids are getting faster and faster. Hard to catch one of the little buggers now. And I had the oven all warm up, too…sigh…

Screened this week: Kraken. Well, a big ugly squid gets a mad-on for anyone getting near its mythically charged opal, so much chomping ensues after a research scientist starts investigating a wreck and trying to snag the jewel. I think this was a made for SyFy movie and it’s fairly mediocre. Victoria Pratt is pretty hot as the scientist, but the acting is only passable and the killer sushi looks about as bad as CGI can get. Ok, maybe not THAT bad, but Flipper on a tear was about as scary.

New Moon: Ok, not even going here. I have the feeling this is just one of those movies that breaks down along male/female lines as to whether you’ll like it. Not my cup of A-positive, but better than Twilight.

The Time Traveler’s Wife: I have to admit, as a horror/adventure/sci-fi type writer/reader, I had a hard time getting past the lack of explanation and basis behind the guy’s time traveling, but this is a romance, and I am told that is accepted in the genre. I saw some pretty horrible reviews on it and I didn’t think it was nearly as bad as they indicated, though Eric Bana’s acting just hits me as wooden more often than not. The storyline was fairly obvious, but it’s more about the romance and character, so on that level it works and it’s a sweet kind of tear-jerker. I’d recommend it to those who enjoy such.

Why are people scared of ghosts? I mean, most people think of ghosts as former relatives or family who have departed, most of whom we long to see again. But should one of those folks appear, we tend to run shivering for the light switch. I did as a child when I thought the ghost of my grandmother, whom I loved, might have been in my room. Now…oh, who am I kidding, I’d still running screaming like a little girl.

Some people who believe in ghosts think it’s not the ghosts of passed loved ones haunting them, but some kind of demons. I don’t think demons haunt people (assuming I believed in demons). I think if demons were real they would be up to far more than pulling little pranks like moving your keys or tweaking your giblets during the night. That’s more like being haunted by the ghost of Rodney Dangerfield.

But seriously, if ghosts exist, they are nothing to be afraid of, right? They are insubstantial to begin with and unless they are the ghost of Charles Manson (yeah, I know he’s alive), probably not all that gruesome looking. Oh, wait, if it’s Lizzie Borden’s ghost…ok, back to the insubstantial thing…whew, almost scared myself.

Ok, so what about you? If you believe in ghosts, would you be scared to see one? Have you been afraid of one you have seen? Lemme know.

The Chloe Files: Kicking Evil’s ass one demon at a time…
In the tradition of Sookie Stackhouse and Buffy, The Vampire Slayer…
In paperback from http://www.bn.com/

Is it Still Ghost Hunting?

This week Terror Tuesday becomes Terror Thursday due to finishing up a project. The project was a three-issue widescreen comic book mini series adapting one of The Spider pulp novels, Death Reign of the Vampire King, for Moonstone. It's about vampire bats that don't drain the blood of their victims, but kill with poisoned fangs.

Screened this week and God knows why: Ghost Watcher. A young woman becomes agoraphobic after being attacked by a serial killer rapist. About a year later strange things start happening in her apartment, spooky things (which are mostly trite and more bad funny than scary). So she hires a charlatan “ghost hunter” slash webcam girl to come to her apartment to exorcise the ghost. Well, you get what you pay for. Except with this movie. Low budget, obviously. Looks like it was filmed with someone’s vidcam. And if you can’t get enough of this bad movie, there’s a sequel, which is the only thing truly scary about this.

Coming up soon here on Dark Bits, I’ll be starting monster week. Hoping to feature a different monster each day.

Does it seem to anyone else all the ghost-hunting, monster-hunting shows on TV are becoming too produced and celebritized lately? Everybody seems to be scrambling to come up with their cute little taglines or trying too hard to produce entertainment, as opposed to serious study and investigation. Not that there is anything wrong with that, per se, and I reckon it might even be necessary, given the feeding frenzy for ratings nowadays. But I miss the old days on cable when ratings weren’t such a big deal and investigators actually did more investigating than posing.

Consequently, my skeptical side has started viewing most of these shows with an even more jaundiced eye. I start questioning the validity of their training, backgrounds and “evidence.” I don’t want to. I want to accept it at face value and be able to make a judgment from it. But that’s become tough to do because it appears too many execs have seen the monetary potential and simply want to put a show together that slants much more towards proving something exists than doesn’t. And seeks to make its investigators more personalities than letting them be the professionals they might be, and focus on the goals they originally started with.

There’s a lot of cross-breeding going on, too. Host from Show A drifts over to Show B to pick up his/her ratings. More often than not, it just gets in the way and detracts again from the original concept. I am expecting action figures at some point…

I am really not trying to be critical of these shows, because I know they are up against networks and pressures to produce something “marketable”. And I enjoy a number of them. I just fear they will become too slick, too packaged, and have found myself getting a little bored with seeing too much trying to manufacture something that isn’t there, in regards to ghost evidence.

Maybe it’s just me? What do y’all think?

The Chloe Files: Kicking Evil’s ass one demon at a time…
In the tradition of Sookie Stackhouse and Buffy, The Vampire Slayer…

Western Wednesday: Myth, History, Whatever...

Time for another Western Wednesday--Jimmy, what'd I tell ya 'bout them damned sheep! Cowboy kids nowadays, sheesh. Little too quick with their pistols...anyway...

There are generally considered to be two main types of Western: One is the action-oriented shoot ‘em up type, which we usually refer to as “the mythical West”. I write this type of Western, though step out of its boundaries more often than not. It is more the escapist Western, encompassing a plethora of styles and story lines, from stage robbery stories with bad boy outlaws to High Noon showdowns. I prefer this type, and strive to make the myth read as “real” by using true-to-life characters with problems and issues modern readers can relate to but won’t find intrusive. Many other writers do the same, especially in the Black Horse Western line. This style Western can also include the myriad adult Westerns out there, as well as series Westerns. It also allows a great diversity in crossing genres, from horror to romance to science fiction.

The second type is the Historical Western, which are usually much longer, and pay great attention to research and detail. Some span generations or family trees. Often historical figures are painted in minute detail, though certainly some of that detail is extrapolation. If you are going to write this type of Western, you better have your horse flop together, because the readers will call you out and go all mythical West on your ass.

I have to admit, nothing makes me cringe more than slogging through a 600-page history lesson, which is what I see many of these books as. I prefer the focus be more on character struggle, situation and tension (and many Historicals do indeed have that), but I enjoy the escapism. I don’t give a damn what the sand is composed of, or the endless details of a cattle drive or minute gun specs. However, others look for those things, and enjoy them.

Yes, in the mythical West much is sanitized. So what? I don’t care. Conversely there’s been a terrible trend in the historical Western to be utterly PC. I hate PC. It’s writer poison. If your sensibilities are offended by certain words used during a period or certain mores go read Pinocchio.

While my preference is for the mythical West, there’s certainly room for both and some of the Historicals—probably most of them—are brilliant, written by extremely talented authors. Just not my particular cup of tea. The problem, for me, comes when those in a certain camp look down upon the other, that literary sphincter-clenching snobbery that judges and dismisses all other works and writers. Generally those types look down on all genre fiction, though. It’s different strokes for different folks. One man’s trash is another’s treasure.

It all comes down to story, for me. Tell a good tale, no matter what genre or sub-genre you toil in. Enjoy a good story no matter what genre you read in. This is fiction. The stuff of imagination only embellished with the dust of reality. You want reality, turn on the news (ah, probably a bad example, as I haven’t seen much real there for a long time…) But whatever your preference, don’t let anyone else tell you what you should like or not like. And don’t be afraid to like it.

Anyone gives you trouble, tell ‘em this library ain’t big enough for the both of you and draw staplers at High Noon…

Terror Tuesday: Mind Your Mind and I’ll Mind Mine!

It’s time for Terror Tuesday again—so dig out your hockey mask and oil your chainsaws ‘cause the neighborhood brats are out with the warming weather…they make such nice stew…I’m kidding, of course. You do believe me, right? Everybody knows I let the evil lawn gnomes do THAT for me…

Screened this week: Couples Retreat. What? Not a horror movie, you say? Oh, yeah? Try sitting through two hours of it. Shiver…

Mind transference. It’s been a staple of science fiction and horror stories for years. It’s been used in pulp, movie and TV stories. Even comedies such as Gilligan’s Island and The Munsters have had fun with it.

It’s an interesting concept, but is it a viable one? Could one person’s mind, whether by a mad scientist’s machine or an “accidental overdose of gamma radiation”, one’s personality, thoughts, values and, essentially, consciousness be shunted into another’s body? Will it someday be possible, if you are dissatisfied with the body or good looks genetics gave you, to simply swap out your chassis for a more handsome/prettier model? Is whatever makes you you interchangeable, much the way one computer hard drive can be installed in a new shell (or if the brain is the hard drive, then can consciousness be moved like files onto other drives? Exist in two places at once?)

I guess to determine that we need first to resolve where consciousness resides in the brain, and perhaps even what, exactly, it is and why it’s there. Easy, right? Or not. Scientists, philosophers and mystics have been addressing these questions for ages and no matter their claims they still do not have the answers—assuming there are answers to be had, or are capable of being understood by human intelligence.

Is consciousness a thing? A combination of chemical and electrical responses triggered in some perfect order also beyond the understanding (at present) of scientist and/or mortals? Is it something more metaphysical or even something siphoned off a grand Diety who shares His/Her toys? Pieces of God?

Is it a curse? Would it be easier to simply crawl around like ants with their pre-loaded instinct until somebody stomps on our ass?

Is consciousness unique to whatever model body it gets stuck in? Would, if one could, transferring it to another form change it? Is it merely a baseline set of patterns formed and guided by its housing and its housing’s experiences?

And if it is possible to interchange, why and how is it locked into its present owner’s body? Can it possibly go on furlough, independent of its present confines, like a TV signal capable of being captured by multiple sets? Would that explain out of body experiences? Past lives?

Science fantasy and silly fictional devices aside, the possibility of transferring minds seems about as likely as roping the wind. It’s not as easy as shifting a set of binary numbers that make up a file via email or flash stick to another drive. It isn’t likely one size fits all or that it isn’t securely anchored to its host, otherwise mind control would be going on all over the place (I know, explain the Hula Hoop…) Perhaps pieces of information will one day be downloaded from one brain to the next, or from software into the brain (though, do you really want to trust program writers not to put something unwanted into your brain? Or download a brain virus? Or for that matter, who wants Microsoft installing anything in their body, given Windows Vista?) But the sum total of a person’s being?

What do you think? Can consciousness be transferred? Would you want to exchange bodies (assuming you were reasonably healthy and happy with what you had, and not in Stephen Hawking’s condition or in a body harboring some dread disease)? And what if someone could force that upon you? How’d you like to be stuck in someone else’s body? Your thoughts?

The Chloe Files: Kicking Evil’s ass one demon at a time…
In the tradition of Sookie Stackhouse and Buffy, The Vampire Slayer…
In paperback from http://www.bn.com/

Terror Tuesday: Ghostly Music?

Welcome to another Terror Tuesday. Insert creaking door sound here. Hmm, perhaps they should have sound affects on blogs. But, then, of course, I’d have to explain all those screams and I’d rather not…

Movies this week: While not a horror film, JLA: Crisis on Two Earth’s is one I highly recommend. A direct to DVD DC Comics animated movie, it concerns our heroes—Batman, Superman, Flash, Green Lantern, Wonder Woman and a few reserve members of the Justice League of America traveling to an alternate earth and battling their villainous counterparts. One in particular, Owl Man, wants to blow up what is called Earth Prime, which is where all alternate Earth realities branched out from. Doing so will annihilate all life. DC has produced some excellent animated movies, among them Wonder Woman and Green Lantern, and this is no exception. Very nice animation and a decent story, shot through with superhero action. If you love comics and heroes, buy it.

The Vampire’s Assistant. Based on the Darren Shan Cirque du Freak young adult series, this movie is hard for me to judge. Mainly, because I dozed off halfway through. Which tells you how excited I was by it. It concerns a boy who, with his bad penny friend, visits a freak show traveling through town (when does this ever work out well, anyway?) This particular show is vampire friendly and after he steals a poisonous spider from the head vamp, his life changes irrevocably. I honestly don’t know what to think of this movie. Fans of the books may or may not like it, depending on how strict they want their adaptations. Many liberties are taken. The CGI is annoying and obvious. On the plus side, Salma Hayek looked hot even with a beard...I’d give it probably a C grade. It will probably appeal to a younger audience, but I’m told the books are much better.

Music. It hath charms to soothe the savage breast. (insert naughty boob joke here…I know I did…) Classical music has been scientifically proven to alter brain waves for the better, either soothing mood or heightening learning ability (writers—put on Bach before attempting your story…) I know for me personally Rap has the ability to agitate the living hell out of me in a very short period of time. But, of course, music, or what we as individuals prefer to listen to or accept as music, is highly subjective. Some like jazz, others, blues, others pop, and a few can even tolerate the Spice Girls without slicing a wrist.

But what about music that isn’t there? Ghostly music. Does it truly exist or is it some brain glitch sticking a quarter in the memory jukebox?

Folks have reported ghost music for about as long as there have been…well, folks hearing music. Have you ever walked down a darkened hallway and heard the strains of some unearthly song that seemed to have come from nowhere? Perhaps late at night when everyone else was asleep and it could not have been floating in from one of the neighbors’ homes? Is it haunting music? Could it be caused by some spirit who in life had a deep abiding love for the bow sliding across the strings of a violin or hands gliding across the ivory keys of a piano?

Or is music itself a type of living thing? One that never dies, but embeds itself somehow into reality, only to be replayed when the conditions are just right? Is it there at all, or merely a product of an over-active imagination or brain chemical error?

Music has power. Perhaps more than the written word and certainly more than the ramblings of politicians. It relaxes us, excites us, comforts us. But does it haunt us?

Have you ever heard ghost music? Lemme know…

The Chloe Files: Kicking Evil’s ass one demon at a time…
In the tradition of Sookie Stackhouse and Buffy, The Vampire Slayer…
In paperback from http://www.bn.com/