Western Wednesday: New Saddles on Old Horses

Old Western proverb: Spurs and jock itch don’t mix…Nah, just made that up…but be careful what you scratch with anyway…

If you get a chance, check out Margaret Marr’s nice review of my Lance Howard novel The Silvermine Spook over at Nights & Weekends: http://www.nightsandweekends.com/articles/10/NW1000161.php

Lots of talk lately about modernizing the Western, making it more relevant to attract a wider readership. To a point, I agree with some of the suggestions. Some things need to change/evolve or a genre gets stale. And this usually comes when writers rely too much on the bells and whistles of a genre instead of focusing on the soul of it. The same can be said of every genre—just take a look at most TV episodes nowadays. How many recycle the same plot germ, and simply adapt it to their particular show? How many times in the ‘70s was the hero of some show forced to land a plane in which the pilot had suffered some mishap? Too many. I got sick of seeing it, and I imagine many readers get sick of some of the contrivances used in some Westerns (or, insert favorite genre here).

That said, I also disagree some. Readers come to a particular genre for the familiar, the comfortable. They want the hero to win, the bad guy to kiss dust and expect some of the trappings of the line. Stray too far from that and grumbling ensures. That’s not to say these things can’t be delivered by a skilled author in a fresh and/or stylistically unique way, but without them you risk alienating long-time, faithful readers. Of course, you may interest new readers, but do you piss on the old ones to gain a few sales?

I don’t think so. I think you, as an author, become innovative. Otherwise you run into the cache 22 many of us do with publishers, who complain about nothing fresh but immediately reject freshness because it doesn’t adhere to genre expectations.

Perhaps the TV shows Lost and Smallville (or Alias, for that matter) are good examples of genres reinvigorated by creative storytelling. Smallville takes the Superman mythos, which by now is as familiar to the general public as any work of fiction ever was, and at times turns it on its head while preserving the exact same parameters the legend has set down from Day One. Same with Lost. It’s a bit Gilligan’s Island on crack, but embedded with twists and turns and character interactions that make things fresh—all leading to the same end you knew was coming and feel comfortable with once it does.

Would the Western benefit from this? Certainly. It’s up to the authors and publishers to be open to it, be willing to go the extra mile not to repeat what has been done but present a limited number of plot and situations in an original or uniquely voiced manner.

It’s a challenge. But would you be writing if you were afraid of that?

Note: I wrote this blog a couple days ago, but didn’t get the chance to revise, since I was busy with edits for the new Avenger Chronicles short story anthology. Today, coincidentally, I stumbled on much the same debate going on in the new online edition of Black Horse Extra (www.blackhorsewesterns.com) So anyone interested in further discourse on this particular topic should mosey on over there and take a peek. They offer some fine insight.

Coming soon in widescreen and comic book editions from Moonstone’s Originals: The Golden Amazon—There will be blood…

Terror Tuesday: CBS Radio Mystery Theater

You push your sharp blade in/you pull your sharp blade out/you push your sharp blade in/then you whirl it all about/you’re committing Hari Cari and of that there is no doubt/that’s what sepiku’s all about…

Ah, yes, number four with a pick axe on American Ghoul’s Top 40 this week…by those Degenerate Dolls of Decay, The Supreme Screams…

While many know the golden age of radio drama occurred in the 1930s-50s, most don’t know there was a sort of silver age in the 1960s & 70s, where many of the old time shows, led by The Shadow, were rebroadcast to a generation who’d grown up on them and were eager to experience the nostalgia, as well as a younger generation who’d never heard them and quickly became enthralled with the entertainment form. Radio gave us a chance to use our imagination and participate, much more so than TV, where everything was visualized for us.

But amongst these rebroadcasts, was a gem of an original show that started quietly in January of 1974, ran until December of ‘82, and quickly garnered a cult following of fans who revere it to this day.

It was called the CBS Radio Mystery Theater, though more often than not it ran to suspense and horror. It opened with a creaking door lifted from the opening of The Inner Sanctum, and was, in fact, begun by Himan Brown, who had worked on that classic radio horror/suspense show. Consummate actor and voice E.G. Marshal was the show’s host and by the time it went off the air it had produced 1,399 original episodes. It ran in an hour time slot and boiled down to about 45 minutes after commercials and a brief opening news segment.

Many episodes were even adaptations of some classic Old Time Radio shows, such as The Shadow’s The Return of Anatole Chevenic, as well as tales from classic literature and writers—Poe, O’Henry, Ambrose Bierce and Mark Twain. Adaptations included Hound of the Baskervilles and Dracula. Sam Dann and Ian Martin wrote many of the original plays.

I have distinct and shivery memories of the show as a kid growing up in the ‘70s. It broadcast at 11:30pm on the East coast and I couldn’t wait for school summer vacations so I could stay up with my father’s old radio to listen to it. To this day an episode called Men Without Mouths has stuck in my mind and reminds me just how powerful radio and the imagination could be. There was nothing quite like listening to a battery-powered radio during a thunder storm, or even on a sultry humid night in the depths of August, and getting the crap scared out of you.

E.G. Marshal had the perfect voice for the show, added just the right macabre touch. He presented the series until its final year, when actress Tammy Grimes took over.

Those interested can find most of the episodes available fairly inexpensively in Mp3 format across the internet (try www.radiolady .com for excellent service and prices) and I would recommend Season 2 as a nice start.

Kicking Evil’s ass one demon at a time…
THE CHLOE FILES by Howard Hopkins
In the tradition of Sookie Stackhouse and Buffy, The Vampire Slayer…
In paperback from http://www.bn.com/

Western Wednesday: Radio Gunsmoke

Ah…the Western Trail…where cowboys do get lonely and sometimes a bit too friendly with their horses…

Many folks know Gunsmoke starring James Arness was a television show, one that ran for twenty seasons (1955-1975, 635 episodes), making it one of the longest-running shows in history. But how many know it was also a popular long-running radio show prior to that?

The radio version ran from 1952-1961 and is often placed among the best radio shows of any kind by old time radio experts. It was one of the most realistic Westerns produced and drew critical as well as listener acclaim. It starred TV’s calorically challenged Detective Cannon, William Conrad, as Matt Dillon. Conrad’s version, however, was not quite the nice guy most folks recall from the TV show. (Even the cast picture looks a bit pyschotic!) He was nearly as scarred at times as the villains he chased down. He was a lonely, brooding lawman, forged by a harsh life. The shows writers turned a lot of clichéd western staples on their heads, unlike other Western fare such as The Lone Ranger or Hopalong Cassidy, which adhered more to the mythical West. The show often had unhappy endings and Dillon, atypical of most heroes, often arrived too late. Human nature was exposed for its good and certainly its bad. Production values were high, as well, the sound effects multi-layered and providing a sense of great scope.

The radio show overlapped the TV show for a spell, but new actors were hired for the familiar roles. William Conrad did direct a couple episodes of the TV version, but the fact he was passed over for the TV series embittered him. At one point John Wayne turned down the role of Matt Dillon, because TV would have been considered a step down at the time.

Numerous collections of the radio Gunsmoke are available on CD (www-radiospirits.com). If you’re a western fan you’ll be wanting to pick some up. And if you’re not, give them a try, you might become one.

Terror Tuesday: The Hermit’s Cave

What do you do with a drunken zombie/what do with a drunken zombie/what do you do with a drunken zombie, ear-li in the gnawing…way hey and up they’re risin’/way hey and up they’re risin’/way hey and up they’re risin’, cavities a-yawning…

It's time for another Terror Tuesday, so sharpen your knives and ready your forks...

Before the advent of television and the Internet, entertainment came into our homes over the airwaves. Radio was king. Drama, comedy, adventure, science fiction, romance, soap operas and, yes, even horror shows gave our imaginations a chance to run wild. It wasn’t about what we saw, it was about what we visualized and felt, what the shows and we dredged up from the darkest corners of our minds. Listening with the lights off, huddled on the couch or under a blanket…that was real fear.

Many radio shows dealt with horror, among them Lights Out, The Inner Sanctum, The Witch’s Tale and an anthology program called The Hermit’s Cave.

The Hermit’s Cave began in the mid ‘30s and ran to the mid ‘40s and was narrated by an ancient hermit who lived in a cave. In the opening the wind howled and the Hermit cackled as he introduced stories of the murderous and macabre. The Hermit was played by a number of actors and the show was originally syndicated by WJR Detroit. William Conrad (TV’s Cannon and radio’s Matt Dillion) produced the show later on after it moved to Los Angeles.

The show garnered a reputation for grisly sound effects and spooky tales that could set your skin to tingling, though it was milder than the ghoulishly gruesome Light’s Out.

From the opening: Sound effects: Wind, dogs howling, and cackling laughter…
Hermit: "Ghost stories. Weird stories. And murders, too. The Hermit knows of them all. Turn out your lights. Turn them out! Ahhhh. Have you heard the story of (insert the show’s title)? Then listen while The Hermit tells you the story..."

You can locate episodes about the Internet, and I would suggest those interested in hearing more radio horror take a look through http://www.radiospirits.com/. They have some excellent CD anthologies of many of these shows. You won’t be sorry you did.

Kicking Evil’s ass one demon at a time…
THE CHLOE FILES by Howard Hopkins
In the tradition of Sookie Stackhouse and Buffy, The Vampire Slayer…
In paperback from http://www.bn.com/

Review: DC Doc Savage#2/First Wave #2

The second issue of both came out this week and like an idiot kid who keeps sticking a paperclip in an electrical socket, despite being shocked time and again, I picked them up. Where Doc Savage and The Avenger are concerned, I tend to be a bit of a completist—even if the material is not up to par. And as far as reviving long-established archetypical pulp heroes goes, this material is not. If you are going to revamp a character, you best make damn sure you bring something new and engaging to it, something that respects the source material, while adding something that elevates above its original incarnation. This effort falls far short.

If possible, the second issues are worse than the first for both. First Wave #1 was mostly just flat. The second shows a marked unfamiliarity with the characters or a deliberate disdain for their milieu. The artwork by Rags Morales is very nice. The characterizations are poor. However, it is better than the second Doc Savage issue. Why they even bothered to include this bastardized version of the Avenger in this mess is a mystery. The Spirit probably holds up the best (and his solo first issue wasn’t too bad), though Ebony is now a girl and he walks around without his mask too much, which is out of character. The Blackhawks have turned into morally questionable opts for hire.

The second Doc issue is a mess. I normally do like Howard Porter’s artwork and liked it in the first issue, but in the second there are some oddities. The Avenger artwork by Scott Hampton is just totally flat and lifeless. The flow and dialog in the Doc Savage lead story are choppy and disjointed. At points it’s hard to tell quite what is going on. Not sure if this is the writer, artist, or a combination of both, but it’s awkward and distracting. The pacing reads like pumping a brake pedal on an icy road. I want to like this book, but right now it just is not working as Doc Savage or strong graphic story-telling. I don’t mind some tinkering, the alternate world thing or what have you, but don’t take everything that makes a character distinct and dilute it. On the plus side, it does show some respect to the lead character and I think the author is genuinely trying to walk the line. It may be an editorial rein holding him in.

The second feature, Justice, Inc., is not even worth reading. No respect, no homage, just some alien landscape and character jammed into a licensed commodity. I never thought I would hope for a quick demise for anything associated with The Avenger, but I sincerely hope this flatlines before the character is totally ruined for the modern audience. And can we please dispense with the pseudo grittiness and pop culture dialog, yo?

Western Wednesday: Hi Yo—Camel?

It’s time for Western Wednesday again…remember, guns don’t kill people…prairie dogs do…oh, wait, that’s not how it goes. Prairie dogs with guns kill people? Yeah, that must be it…

If you get a chance, please check out the wonderful review of my ripper/western, PISTOLERO, from Margaret Marr over at Nights & Weekends: http://www.nightsandweekends.com/articles/10/NW1000162.php

Given enough time, some cowboys will try to ride just about anything. Horses were a natural…trainable, sleek, dependable, able to cover great distances—once broken, of course. Cows were too slow, so that never caught on. Donkeys/mules carried stuff but were stubborn and not the fastest critter out of the pen. And sheep…er, never mind about sheep.

So it was inevitable somebody sooner or later would get the bright idea to try importing that ornery master of the desert, the camel, and put it to use in the Wild West.

The notion came about in 1848, by Quartermaster Major Henry Wayne, who intended to import camels for military use in the southwest. A couple years later, Secretary of War and Mississippi Senator Jefferson Davis endeavored to persuade the Senate to use camels for the U.S. Army.

It seemed sort of practical. Camels could carry twice the weight of horses and mules, acclimated to rough weather and territory easily and could go much longer without water and rest than the trusty horse. So in 1854, $30,000 was appropriated in a bill for the purchase of these ungainly beasts. Well, as they say, it seemed like a good idea at the time…

Seventy-two camels arrived in 1857 and were immediately put to work hauling supplies in the southwest. But like many of the best laid plans…it soon became evident nobody was willing to walk a mile for a camel.

Because camels, unlike the trusty hoss, are ugly animals with even uglier dispositions. They scared the horses. The bit. They threw up on their owners—on purpose—and had a particularly bad habit of just wandering the hell off in the middle of the night, which made them persona non camata with soldiers pretty fast. The horse was still there in the morning…the camel—see ya!

Years after the quickly failed experiment, many such animals were glimpsed wandering across the Arizona landscape. (There’s a particularly funny episode of the TV show The Young Riders that deals with this, incidentally.)

Legends of “ghost camels” even sprang up around them, including the infamous Red Camel, who reportedly stomped a woman to death and left her in a bush. Sightings continued into the early 1900s.

Well, I suppose, considering it was a government idea to use these critters, it could have been worse. They might have figured kangaroos could have made excellent military animals. They could hop far and fast and, hell, even came with their own built-in saddlebag. Of course, their disposition isn’t always the nicest either and they can kick you probably twenty feet.

But with the camel, the West, for a spell, truly was a bit wilder.

Terror Tuesday: Welcome to the Night Gallery

Oh where oh where has my little ghoul gone…oh where oh where can she be? With her arm falling off and no flesh hanging on…you’d think she’d be easy to see…

Ah, those fetching ghouls will bring you nothing but heartache…and missing bodyparts…take my advice and sleep with one eye open...they do…of course, they only have that one eye, but meh…

While most folks tend to associate Twilight Zone with Rod Serling, I always link him indelibly with another series, one I personally much preferred. Mr. Serling was without doubt a genius and could be one creepy dude at times.

The series was his follow-up to TZ, Night Gallery. Night Gallery ran on NBC from 1970-73 and was one of the few things that actually gave me a shiver as a kid. Night Gallery focused on the macabre, and Serling not only hosted but contributed to many of the scripts. The show opened in an art gallery full of strange and often grotesque paintings that represented the week’s episode(s). Some of the best known horror writers such as HP Lovecraft had stories adapted for the series and some guy named Spielberg made his directorial debut in the movie pilot for the show, which ran in 1969.

Critics ravaged the show and Serling during its first season, mostly for its innovative techniques and anthology approach, despite its Emmy nomination. They likely expected a TZ redux, but such was not the case. Night Gallery was edgy, well-written bump-in-the-night stuff.

One particular episode in the second season called A Feast of Blood, kept me up most of the night. It involves a snooty gal who is given a brooch…only to find it does not come off and is growing…and eating. Very frightening stuff for its time.

The first two seasons are available on DVD and hopefully the third will follow soon. If you haven’t seen it, check it out; and if you have, relive the spookiness.

Kicking Evil’s ass one demon at a time…
THE CHLOE FILES by Howard Hopkins
In the tradition of Sookie Stackhouse and Buffy, The Vampire Slayer…
In paperback from http://www.bn.com/

Western Wednesday: Horsing Around

There’s an old saying in the West—Never try to ride a one-testicled horse…oh, wait…was it horse or whore? I get them mixed up. Oh, well, neither is a very amiable thing to be around and either will buck you off without the slightest provocation.

Anyhooo…horses are as big a part of the Western as cowboys, Indians and Ma’s home vittles. Where would the West be without that magnificent creature? Riding camels, most likely, and if there’s one thing more ornery than the above mentioned testicle-less hoss, it’s one of them critters. At least horses don’t throw up on you just for the hell of it and make those annoying toilet-backing-up noises.

In fact, some horses are probably even as famous as their cowboy counterparts. The Lone Ranger & Tonto had Silver and Scout. “Hi Yo, Silver!” and “Git ‘em up, Scout!” were pretty much as well-known as the William Tell Overture theme song.

And Roy Rogers had Trigger. Poor…stuffed…Trigger. That always struck me as a bit creepy. But I am told they stuffed Roy, too. Probably just a rumor, though.

Of course, there’s Zorro’s black horse, Tornado. He doesn’t get quite as much press as Silver but that’s a hard act to follow.

And though not a Western, one horse even got his own show…I’m sure he thought if that damn dog Lassie could do it…yes, you know who I’m talking about: Mr. Ed. A horse is a horse, of course, of course…I hear he finally got fed up and ate Wilber. Maybe another rumor.

Point is, though, the horse is an integral part of the Western and American culture. Literature and society are far richer for this glorious creature’s contributions. And just remember…nobody ever rode a cat off into the sunset…

Terror Tuesday: Are you Afraid?

Ah…one day it happens…you look up from your table, glance across a crowded nightclub and gaze into her eye…the one that’s not hanging by a thread halfway down her cheek. Her with the cute little loose flap of skin and just the barest bit of exposed jawbone…yes, good ghouls go far, but bad ghouls go everywhere…Isn’t zombie love the greatest?

I don’t know why but horror movies and books never scare me anymore. They elicit plenty of other emotions, particularly most modern ones that are just plain lackluster or a reason to hurl buckets of blood and body parts everywhere. But not fear. Yet horror is supposed to scare you, isn’t it?

I can recall being scared only by a very few and all those when I was much younger. There were a couple things on the gothic soap Dark Shadows that scared the pee pee out of me. Quentin’s ghost in a rocking chair in the middle of the night; a headless body lying in wait in the woods to grab unsuspecting damsels; Judah Zachary’s head opening it’s eyes in a glass case. But I was very young, then, maybe six or seven.

Beyond that, the only movie ever to scare me at all was Phantasm. The Tall Man just plain had me ready to change underwear. Boooyyyyyyy! Of course, I watched it alone late at night and something about funeral parlors and what happens in them has always freaked me out.

But after that…nothing. Some grossed me out. Some sickened or depressed me. But none frightened me. Since I write horror, I wonder why. Am I jaded? Has everything scary been done so many times it’s lost its effect? Or has real life outdone anything authors or movie-makers could dream up to frighten us?

If the latter is the case…that’s too bad, because I see horror as a pressure release, a controlled fright where we can switch of the movie or close the book after and know it’s just make-believe. Too much of today’s horror, in my opinion, reflects real life and doesn’t give us a box to put our fears in (Zombie Al Gore—yeah, an oxymoron—says, “Put yer fears in a lockbox…”). Or it simply caters to low denominators to nail the teen audience. Which means a lot of it isn’t frightening because it is well-written or executed. Horror comes from the build-up, prying around in the depths of the mind, and too many of today’s horror films don’t even put the effort into crafting it. It’s all about grabbing disposable income from a young audience.

So since nothing frightens me in films or books anymore, maybe I should ask, What frightens you? Are there still things that can make you check the closets and look under the bed before retiring?

Kicking Evil’s ass one demon at a time…
THE CHLOE FILES by Howard Hopkins
In the tradition of Sookie Stackhouse and Buffy, The Vampire Slayer…
In paperback from www.bn.com