Bathroom Humor...

Those easily offended by “bathroom” humor might want to change the channel now...

Ok, I warned you…

Anybody else have phobias about odd things? I don’t mean the usual fears of snakes, flying or horny trolls.

Well, maybe horny trolls.

I’m afraid of public restrooms. And not just because some government official might want to play footsie under the stall. I think it might be the smell. Don’t get me wrong, I have a weird attraction to the scent of those urinal cakes. I did try to eat a moth ball once, so no help for me there. But discounting the “other” odors natural to bathrooms there’s that unidentifiable toilet bowl essence only those too familiar with worshiping the porcelain goddess are intimate. I get the shakes just thinkin’ about it.

And there’s the fact that a public restroom can turn even the most well-mannered adult into a five-year-old. You know…that period in your life when you think boogers are really funny. Take a look at the stall walls someday. No, not just for the phone numbers. I’m pretty sure you’ll see what I’m getting at.

And toilet paper is NOT an ornament, people! It’s sacred stuff. White and fluffy. It should be cherished. It also comes in handy in the bedroom when you’re in a mummy mood…
But I digress. I won’t go into the five-year-old perspective too much because it only gets worse. Remember at five, not only are boogers funny but poop is guaranteed to get a laugh. So is…nevermind. I think I was better off with horny trolls. Maybe I’ll get to that next time.