Don't Put that in Your Mouth!

There’s really no end to what we’ll stick in our mouths when we’re kids. And by no end, I mean no end. I think I was nine when I learned little Jimmy down the street wasn’t called “poop mouth” for no reason. The undiscriminating tike put our family dachshund to shame when it came to rummaging around in the cat litter box.

But onto things that weren’t quite so bad.

Playdoe. Yum. Kinda salty, kinda coarse. Margaritas with an earthy, seaside bouquet and seasoning. Yep, tried it. Think I might have liked it. It’s still got that “interesting” aroma. And yeah the can says “not for ingestion”. Or something to that effect. When you’re seven that’s a dare.

Silly Putty. Ok, no so much. Silly Putty has a peculiar smell and an even more peculiar flavor. And consistency. And it leaves cartoon imprints on your tongue.

And who amongst you DIDN’T get the bright idea of sampling the mysterious delicacies of the ALPO can? Not the dry one, the wet one that they used for the meatloaf in Jr. High. Meat by Products. Unidentifiable chunks of…something. This was in the days before those cool little cans of Doggy beef stew. Those smell kinda good.

And then there’s the usual suspects: mud, various bugs flying and ground-bound, a moth ball or two (oh, yeah, I got x-rayed for that one!) and of course little Jimmy’s trusty old standby.

Of course we grow out of eating such things. Our taste buds become more demanding and our minds rebel at the thought of Playdoe burgers, Silly Putty fries and ALPO meatloaf. We switch them for infinitely more palatable things like…Taco Bell…

Just what is that taco meat made outta, anyway?

Well, some secrets are best left alone…